You know. I think about where life leads me sometimes. Honestly it is some shit. People say I have a lot to thank for and it is true. I am going to my dream school, Georgetown University. I have friends, my parents are alive, my family is well. I know it is bad to want more, but why? How is any of this worth it, if you are not happy? If there is no love? The place that was my home, DBCR, is now my hell. No longer my sanctuary, no longer ANYONES sanctuary. I felt at home there. I thought they loved me. I was wrong. I think back to when I thought one of the boys there was the one I would marry. Come to think of it now. WOW. I was wrong. But where does this leave me? Unloved. I want he who will make me smile. I want him who will hold me when my world is falling. He who makes me angry and who still holds me when i am fuming. I want him. He who I will adore. The person who will make this life worth it and who will make this life worth enduring. Many want fame, power, and fortune. I just want him. When all else in this life of mine perishes, I want him to be there.
I have lost so much.
I lost the future I had.
the respect of many.
A bestfriend who I thought was my blood.
A boy I thought was future husband
The life I wanted.
I feel empty now.
Only sorrow fills me.
With him. I'd feel enough.
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