Saturday, May 14, 2011

LIfe right Now. What If?

This Blog is just that, my blog. I talk about whatever I want, I have poetry about whatever I feel, or just do as I please. I talk about ANTHING, and the possibilities are endless.

So this is how I feel right now.
Alone, confused, and just unattached. I have been so used to how things have been for me in high school. I have always had a boy in my life, I have always had boys to talk to. I have always had my friends and thought about the girls i depended on the most to be my best friend. School has never really been an issue because although I do not study much, it comes easy to me and I end up with good grades. Things come to me, I never really had to fight for it.
That was then. 
This is now.
Things have changed.

I am a senior, And im literally graduating in about 2 and a half weeks. I have been going to a small school population zero and have gone out with a lot of guys, and am friends with everyone. Things are going to change from June 2, 2011 and on. I am no  longer going to be the big fish in a small pond. I will be a college freshman. My best friends gone in their own adventure. The boys I knew off to another state. School will now be something I will actually have to work hard at. Talk about 180 degrees. Life is moviing so fast, and I hate not knowing where it is taking me. One thing for sure, is I have God and I have all that God has taught me in high school. I guess all I have left is to try hard to "be who I am, and be it well". It scares me though, It scares me alot.
Even the smallest things scare me.

1. What if I am not as pretty as the other girls
2. What if I dont fit in.
3. What if I get bored of being in the same state as always.
4. What If I am not smart enough.
5. What if I hate it. 
6. What if... MANY THINGS.

I guess I wont ever get an answer, I'll just have to wait and live it.

Well with tons of love,

Jessica <3

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